Uncertainty as Opportunity

I wish I'd been able to feel this more during times when my life and identity were crumbling in earnest.  

While there have been times that I felt the catharsis in the destruction; sure that brick by brick I'd rebuilt something better.  There were other times, many more in comparison, where I truly felt void of a future.  Utter loss and hopelessness seemed to be all that was left in the rubble of my life. And I did not know how to even make the next step; panic and overwhelm were allowed to have too tight a grasp.

These feelings and musings can evidence themselves in different ways.  Yet, I was recently reminded of one I know which must be common, because, as an acquaintance described his uncertainty about losing his friend group and social status if he moved closer toward major life changes; such as a divorce, the resonate feelings now long forgotten flooded in.

Where do I fit in anymore in my life?  Who am I within my own life once things get broken?  

We will try to hold on to our proudest shreds.  If we've lost financially we try to save face by upholding the image of what was -or at least we wish to.  If it's not money, it's sure to be something else we've lost completely that the inclination is to try (in vain) to pretend we haven't.   

I'll never forget the beautiful friends I surrounded myself who never made me question my place if my circumstances changed, and they of course did.  I will forever be grateful to my companions cheering me on, seeing me deeply for how hard I was trying through my struggles.  They expected no pretense.  I could not have survived if the friends I'd surrounded myself with expected me to save face during my most brutal battles.  I hope the same for you.   

One such friend, seeing me have to really dig deep and swallow some pride at one point in the journey, hugged me tightly as we spoke in her driveway nestled in the foothills of Salt Lake City on the East side Downtown.  'Do you know how many people on these streets could free themselves from their prisons, their golden cages and golden handcuffs if they'd have the humility to risk it all and leave the lives they've created that they can't stand?'  

Sometimes walking away from it all is the true key to freedom.  Because, sometimes even as the creators of our own lives we end up creating something that is no longer 'us' -or at least no longer serves us moving forward.

Answering to yourself, honestly; being... in order to try not to seem, is invaluable while mansions and fancy cars have price tags.

We have so much power to tap into, so much to discover about our true selves.

And on the other side of the leap, across the bridge we can't see but we trust is there, opportunity is literally waiting in the ether.  

And Providence will favor your undertakings.

Natalie Que